“You know,” he began, deadpan, “that in Islam we believe in angels. We believe that, after death, the person has to go into the ground and an angel comes and asks three questions. Who was your God? Who was your prophet? And what was your book? The right answers are: There is only one God, Muhammad is the prophet, and the book is the Koran.
“So then this Muslim died. And the angel came and said, ‘Who is your God?’ And the Muslim answered, ‘President Bush.’ ‘Who is your prophet?’ ‘John Ashcroft.’ ‘What is your book?’ ‘The Patriot Act.’ The angel was really confused by these answers. He went back to God and said, ‘Look, I found one person who has some really strange answers I have never heard.’ And God said: ‘Bring him to me. I’ll ask him the questions.’ ”
Now, standing before the obviously true God Ñ Allah, in Arabic Ñ the Muslim answered the questions again, this time giving the proper Islamic responses. But why, God wanted to know, hadn’t the fellow done this the first time, why all this business about Bush, Ashcroft and the Patriot Act?
Khan paused a beat, smiling in anticipation of the punch line:
“Because, Allah, I thought the angel was an FBI agent.”
Still Living in the Shadow of a September Day (Los Angeles Times, August 3 2004)
