In honor of His Excellency, President of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s speech before the United Nations General Assembly, I hereby propose a drinking game:
Now, safety first, kids: no drinking before age 21 (if you’re in the United States), drink responsibly, and if you are drinking under-age or irresponsibly, it’s not my fault.
That aside, grab your favorite brew, find some friends, and cozy up to the radio, TV, or this MSNBC webcast sometime around 4 pm Pacific today — it depends how fast we can get through South Africa, Czech Republic, El Salvador, Equatorial Guinea and the Dominican Republic.
So, here we go!
1) Every time he says “God” or “Almighty” — drink.
2) Every time he quotes from the Qu’ran or refers to Imam Khomeini — drink twice.
3) If he mentions Israel and/or Zionism — shout L’chaim! — and drink.
4) If he mentions Palestine, occupy your friend’s drink by taking a swig from it.
5) If he denies the Holocaust — deny your thirst and don’t drink.
6) If he says “nuclear” and “peaceful” in the same sentence, take a drink, smile and high-five your drinking buddy — then punch him/her on the shoulder in the friendliest way possible.
7) If he says that Iran is a democracy or otherwise praises the recent election — pour yourself more to drink.
VIII) If he claims that there aren’t any gay people in Iran — drink *fabulous* cosmos!
9) If he mentions his own blog, Khamenei’s Twitter account, or the Internet in any way — pour yourself an unbelievable shot of the hardest firewater you have and knock it back.
10) If he quotes Saadi, Hafez, Khayyam, Ferdowsi or any other classic Persian poet — drink three times! (They certainly would have!)
Thanks to Austin Heap for creative input, and Marc for inspiration.
