{"id":712,"date":"2005-08-09T13:59:29","date_gmt":"2005-08-09T20:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/?p=712"},"modified":"2005-08-09T13:59:29","modified_gmt":"2005-08-09T20:59:29","slug":"dear-car-thieves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/2005\/08\/09\/dear-car-thieves\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Car Thieves"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Car Theives,<\/p>\n<p>Sometime last night or this morning, you smashed one of the small back windows of my car, (which was parked in my driveway) and stole my car stereo. Firstly, let me just tell you a resounding &#8220;fuck you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I also wanted to thank you for not taking my Fastrak, nor my rock climbing gear which was in the trunk.<\/p>\n<p>Sincerely,<\/p>\n<p>-Cyrus<\/p>\n<p>PS: I still can&#8217;t get through to Oakland Police. I&#8217;ve been on hold for 20 minutes. Damn. Oh wait, now I&#8217;ve been disconnected and their line is busy. Fuck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Car Theives, Sometime last night or this morning, you smashed one of the small back windows of my car, (which was parked in my driveway) and stole my car stereo. Firstly, let me just tell you a resounding &#8220;fuck you.&#8221; I also wanted to thank you for not taking my Fastrak, nor my rock climbing gear which was in the trunk. Sincerely, -Cyrus PS: I still can&#8217;t get through to Oakland Police. I&#8217;ve been on hold for 20 minutes.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[147],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-personal","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uks-bu","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=712"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/712\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}