{"id":784,"date":"2005-09-28T14:24:04","date_gmt":"2005-09-28T21:24:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/?p=784"},"modified":"2005-09-28T14:24:04","modified_gmt":"2005-09-28T21:24:04","slug":"headbanging-for-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/2005\/09\/28\/headbanging-for-jesus\/","title":{"rendered":"Headbanging for Jesus!"},"content":{"rendered":"

SF Weekly (August 31, 2005)<\/a>:<\/p>\n

I throw out a little heavy metal, meathead philosophy. “When I was little, I didn’t go to church. Metal was my religion!” I explain, throwing my fist in the air. “Metal concerts were my church — except, unlike the other church, I’d drink a 12-pack before attending services!”<\/p>\n

As the cameras roll, I share my decadent metal days in my former, non-Christian speed-metal band Skull Fuck! “I gave into all of the devil’s temptations. Satan was whispering in my ear.” I tell about the exact moment (shortly after doing coke off of a groupie’s ass) when the Almighty turned my life around.<\/p>\n

“I was in a motel in Bakersfield. I’ve been up for a few days on crank. When suddenly I felt this tap on my shoulder. I turn around, and this voice said, ‘Dude –‘”<\/p>\n

The third-grade schoolteacher\/host interrupts me: “Wait, the Lord called you ‘dude’?!”<\/p>\n

“Yeah. He called me ‘dude,'” I continue. “He said to me, ‘Dude, if you keep this up, you’re going to end in one of the Three D’s: Death, Drug Overdose, or Disease!'” I say, explaining that “disease” refers to a sexually transmitted malady.<\/p>\n

The host makes a sympathetic face. “What happened next?”<\/p>\n

“I got rid of my guitar and burned all my metal albums.”<\/p>\n

[Pause]<\/p>\n

“Except Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction, because the guitar on that really ROCKS!”<\/p>\n

The host’s smile somehow expresses that Slash’s guitarwork even transcends Christian values. Next I blow my own metal horn. “Then one day God came to me. He told me, ‘You have a gift. Go use your gift in order to spread the word of the Lord!’ So I picked up a guitar again, and that’s how I started my Christian speed-metal band.” (“Prayer?” “No Pray-er!”) <\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SF Weekly (August 31, 2005): I throw out a little heavy metal, meathead philosophy. “When I was little, I didn’t go to church. Metal was my religion!” I explain, throwing my fist in the air. “Metal concerts were my church — except, unlike the other church, I’d drink a 12-pack before attending services!” As the cameras roll, I share my decadent metal days in my former, non-Christian speed-metal band Skull Fuck! “I gave into all of the devil’s temptations. Satan…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[85,87,103],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-humor","category-i-love-the-bay-area","category-journalism","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uks-cE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=784"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/784\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cyrusfarivar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}